This is a bit off-theme for the Winnie Diaries (but what the hay) - I wanted a write a little entry about a new, and somewhat mind-blowing, experience I had a few months ago involving many tiny needles.
(not sure what this guy's deal was, but there normally aren't this many needles ; )
Last time we were in California, I went to see an acupuncturist friend of juwels'. I'm not especially fond of needles - in fact, when I was a kid, I used to get all my cavities filled without Novocain (I think this really freaked the dentists out as they drilled large holes in my teeth and sweat beaded up on my brow and the drill threw enamel all over the place). I really didn't like needles, but the first session was free at Lisa's clinic, (if you live in the LA area, you'd have the privilege of seeing her) and after wrapping up a lot of business stuff, I thought it might relax me a little .. I'd heard things like that.
In the waiting room I filled out all the papers and checked the boxes, but I didn't have a major reason for being there. They looked at my tongue, listened to the blood move through my veins, and decided on my points. Running my own businesses since the year after high school graduation, along with a full and vivid life had spiked my stress levels from time to time .. my childhood was full of school yard fist fights, the typical squabbles amongst 5 siblings (who ate the last slice of pizza, what's fair, etc) and a general distaste, and rebellion against, the breaking of the strong will of the youth which we all must go through .. but aaaaany way .. I didn't have high expectations from just one visit, and being a bit frugal myself, I didn't know if I'd come back again and again to give it time.
She swabbed all the spots on my arms and legs and forehead and feet with alcohol and then stated needling. It didn't hurt - at all, and when she was done, she craned a heat lamp over my stomach, turned off the lights and left the room. She said she'd be back in about 25 minutes, and I remember thinking that was a long time to just lie in the dark, but I focused on my breathing and waited for something to happen.
The first thing that happened, ironically, was that I got an itch on the tip of my nose .. this -never- happens unless I'm in a position not be able to scratch it ?? My stomach gurgled a little, and at one point, I had the sensation that my arms were floating .. but I thought they'd just gone numb from not moving.
It was over before I knew it.
On the way out to the car, juwels asked me what I thought. I told her I couldn't tell if anything had really "happened" and it was nice, but I didn't know if I'd do it again ..
Fast forward to about 1 am. We'd gotten to bed early, no strange food or drink, and I was awoken by what felt like snakes slithering around in my gut. There was gurgling and strange physical movement, but no pain. Normally, my first thought would be - 'Oh, I'm going to throw up .. what's wrong ?? What's happening ? !! ?' But, counter to all that, my first thought was .. 'something's moving .. leaving'.
This could have been due to the conversation that I'd been half-listening in on the other day at the beach when Lisa was telling Juwels about how you can't stop or kill energy. How it just goes on and on. She's on a first name basis with her bad energy .. she does battle with it, needles it, chants it out, and negotiates with it. "Okay, I know you're there, and you know you can't stay, so let's work together. Where do you want to go? Do you want to rush off into the surf tomorrow morning? Should we go into the forest and plant you in a tree?"
I know this sounds pretty far out to some of you - and it did (kinda) to me too. I stay pretty open minded, and who am I to knock a treatment that's been working for thousands of years .. but I was mostly just going for a treatment because it was free and because I was a little curious. This non-expactation and almost skepticism is what made this whole thing (the slithering of my organs and intestines) so powerful and unexpected.
I lied there, calmly (not my normal way of doing things in this setting btw) and just felt this thing stirring in me. I didn't wake juwels, and after a few minutes, I slowly got up and walked through the dark to the bathroom. Without turning on the lights, I sat down and (bare with me here) and released .. and released .. and re-leased. It was like a waterfall. More long-lasting and intense than food poisoning, hang over, Mexican tap water - anything. And still, counter to my normal thought process - which has been with me since as long as I can remember - I just sat there with this huge smile on my face and the thought that something, some great weight and burden, which had been with me from the beginning of time, was running into the Los Angeles sewer and that as soon as I was done, I'd feel better.
I finished up, and without looking back (it could have been a bowl of blood for all I knew) I washed up and quietly got back into bed. My entire body was buzzing, and the most positive thoughts and affirmations zipped around in my head like humming birds in love.
The next morning I woke up and told juwels about what had happened. She was surprised that I didn't wake her. She's my crutch, but as I said, I had this odd calm .. and then euphoria and didn't need anything. That night was dramatic and unexpected and unclear, but the days that followed - months in fact - where the most exciting. I felt better and more at peace than I'd ever-ever felt. Nothing phased me .. not like I was on some Western dopamine, reduced to a dial tone of comfortable numb .. but every bit as alive as I've been in my best moments but without the stress of the past or future. I always roll my eyes when people say this about a book or film or overseas getaway .. but it changed my life, in a night.
I could hardly believe it .. and wondered when I'd wake up to reality. Months passed, and I tried not to think about it for fear of jinxing my good fortune. But I was a changed man. I figured I'd get to this level after ten years of conscious work, and incrementally, maybe, find this place .. But overnight? Months later, not because I felt I needed it, I decided to look up the local healers in Flagstaff and go in for another session. I've gone three more times, just as a treat after bigger jobs, and it's still every bit as amazing. The guy I'm going to now studied a while in China, uses very few needles, and seems to shoot lightning through my hands and feet every time he punctures a point. I had to laugh the other day when he came in to check my pulse as I was lying there and my wrist shocked him.
Luckily - I haven't been woken up to purge anything since that first night, but it's so interesting to feel the energy surging around my body after they move a blockage. There was a part of me that felt like I should go back just to maintenance and keep things buzzing .. and it didn't occur to me that I might heighten and feel even better than I already did, and I know this sounds a bit grandiose, but I half-jokingly told juwels the other day that I felt like acupuncture was giving me super powers ; )
Maybe a bit more subtle than that, but writing and the artistic thought process has been such a breeze since then. Being out in public lacks that awkward element I've known so long and instead seems like a movie or odd modern stage play with me as comfortable as if I were on the couch. When I close my eyes at night - after a long day of work - I hardly feel tired but rather watch the picture-perfect images of complex plant life and detailed imagery in my mind's eye (before I just saw abstract shapes or swirling colors, and couldn't call any specific image to mind), sex has become almost unbearably amazing (... the "unbearably" part is new). And just the other day, which is when I finally I decided to start this post, I looked down at my toes (I was wearing sandals) and noticed I'd gouged a hole just above my big toe nail while I was lugging our Christmas tree around and hadn't even noticed the pain in the past half hour as the blood dried and sealed everything up. I've seen little glowing rings floating in the sky or a tiny patch of my vision, momentarily, looking like rippling water (the thought did cross my mind that maybe I was going blind, but only in a comical way .. and even then, not even a slight increase in my pulse or stress level ?? My first thought was actually - 'If I went blind, imagine how sharp my other senses would become.') And I think that statement might sum up a lot of this - maybe I'm not getting any special powers that I never had before .. but rather shedding this energy-sucking weight and stress has given me more fuel to fire everything else .. ??
I'm not writing a commercial for acupuncture, and I can't say that anyone will have the same immediate response that I did (Lisa said it doesn't normally happen so quickly, and when it does, most people don't have the same presence of mind to understand or be comfortable with it). But it was a curious and exciting experience for me, and one that continues, so I wanted to share it ; )
to bee continued ..