I could go on for pages and pages about this Robin Williams thing ..
But I don't want to make people feel even worse. Because we're all victims (and contributors) to the same darkness that killed such a bright and shining light.
All I can say is that we need to remember that this is -our world- that he needed to escape. I believe that it was exactly his electric life and energy (these things we thought would complete him and keep him here) in sharp contrast with what we've become which made him feel so alien and alone.
As a passionate person with the tendency to overwhelm the overworked, I've felt this same thing for much of my life, and I can only thank my sweet wife for saving me and mending my broken soul. It's not lack of heart but the opposite that lets in so much pain.
It's bombs and babies and fear and lies and guilt and apathy. It's thousands of years of killing in the name of God, child solders, sweat shops, walmart, prisons for profit, blood diamonds, synthesized singers with nothing to say, sex, silence, fabricated self loathing and loneliness in the limelight. It's life being dulled down to a dial tone and nobody seeing the tears of a clown. It's parents worried sick that their child wants to take the hard road of artistic expression, and those same kids growing up with a bad taste in their mouths and not supporting others in their "foolish endeavors" and on and on.
This was not his world, and it's not mine either, that's why I've created my own and retreat into nature, but this hiding helps the collective in noway. There's so much suffering in the name of a few wealthy families, and we're all too sick and scared and fat and tired to do anything about it.
Johnny Depp won't watch his own films because he doesn't want to look at himself ... Howard Stern has social anxiety at parties and worries that he's being boring and simply can't read people. Jim Carry cries at night, and for every Robin Williams who checks out, there are a million more who stick around, sick and lonely, tethered to this world by a ribbon of guilt for the sadness that they'll leave behind.
Goddammit - let's start letting people be weird and free and take chances and fail and get back up with a click of their heals and try again. Let's stop hating people for loving themselves and hating ourselves for what they say we should be or do or look like. Slow down. Take a breath. Lash out at your boss, not your kids. Send that message all the way to the top. We want CHANGE. We need it.
Stop taking everything so seriously. Life is a joke, and life is a game, but we need to rewrite the way it's played because we're going around in circles in this mad monopoly. Vote with your dollar, for the almighty dollar is God in this bankrupt era, and demand that they feed us Real food and play us Real music. Let your boys cry, and let your girls get dirty. Let the wedding bells ring for anyone who wants them, and stop judging people ... starting with your self. And start loving people ... starting with yourself.
There are so many good people here in our feed. And we need to spread that goodness around, lead by example, get comfortable, have fun, live, laugh, and work hard. People will follow. Let's all march to the tune of freedom and liberation from all these distractions and expectations. This life can be heaven, but we have to try.
Let's start now.